There was a time we had a god for everything. There were gods of thunder, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and even goddesses of fertility. The time frame where the belief of these gods existing is sometimes called the time of myths. We still have myths today when it comes to infertility. The myths run the gambit of God just don’t want you to be a parent to if you watch The Gangnam Style YouTube video on a Sunday while eating hard-boiled eggs in a tutu you will be stricken with infertility. Do not believe all the myths.
One myth is that infertility is the problem of people thirty and up. Twenty year olds can go at it like rabbits at a carrot convention and knock out babies left and right. This is simply not true. One of the greatest surprises I had when I went to the fertility clinics with my wife was that there were so many twenty-something couples there. If you are in your twenties and have tried for a while to have a baby without much success you may want to see your doctor and make sure there is nothing that is causing the problem. Depending on what website study you read infertility affects 7 to 10% of people at childbearing age. That is over 7 million people. Do you still feel alone in your journey?
We all know that all child issues are women’s issues. A women’s ability to get pregnant is all up to her. If you have had problems getting pregnant then you need to carry your lovely bride to the doctor because dammit it is a she problem…..wrong it is a “we” problem. Most studies show that the party that has the infertility issue is pretty much a draw between men and women. When my wife and I had our journey we both had issues contributing to our problem. It is not fair to ever call someone the blame of infertility. It is very important to be supportive and caring for your partner if a problem arises. Men can have egos the size of Texas and some women spend a lifetime dealing with public perception issues. Infertility can make those fears grow to self loathing proportions. It will not make all the pain go away but make sure you remind your partner that infertility is not uncommon, is often treatable, and does not make them lesser a man or woman. Nothing in a relationship should ever be a he or she issue and infertility is the same. Support each other and you may be surprised at what you accomplish.
While we are on the subject of public perception, have you heard the story that a woman with a little baby fat will never get pregnant? All we hear is how obese our country has become. Unfortunately our nation fights a weight issue (as well as this blogger) but if weight were the only reason preventing people from getting pregnant our country will be extinct in a couple of generations because us people of size are not capable of having kids. We should all strive to be healthy and reduce our body fat index but the fact is that most women with a BMI between 20 and 25% have no fertility issues. If you lose weight do it for you. If you lose weight for any other reason you very well will have limited success or put your weight back on. Loving yourself is not a sin. I am not suggesting to not worry about your weight because it does not matter I am only expressing the truth that a person with meat on their bones can have a baby. You should consider that if you get pregnant and are already heavy that the added weight you gain during pregnancy will enhance present back issues and can affect delivery. If you can get healthier do so for yourself but don’t let anyone convince you that you cannot get pregnant.
God hates you buy the way. God decided a long time ago that you should not have a baby. He was so sure that you should not have a baby that he shared it with your work mates, friends, and family. He wanted to make sure that from time to time one of them would say to you that maybe God does not think you should be a parent. Of course God told this banana head His intentions and they were sharing them with you because well you should know. Faith is good and powerful. I had a friend tell me that maybe God did not want me to reproduce. He was not kidding. He meant it. Do you really think God is so self-absorbed that He creates drama for his entertainment? No!!! or at least I doubt it. When someone uses faith as the reason you are not pregnant they are small and hiding behind something that makes them feel better and superior. No matter your chosen god or faith make sure that you use it to help and support you and not to make others hurt you with it. For anyone to assume what someone’s god thinks of them is ridiculous.
There are many myths out there my friends. We live in a society where news and myths are quickly spread because of the internet, satellites beaming news everywhere instantly, and too many so called experts. I took the infertility journey with my wife but I am only an expert on what happened to us. Listen to your doctors. Arm yourself with good information that has facts to back it up. Don’t allow yourself to be discouraged by a friend who heard a story from another friend about a couple on the internet that could not conceive for some ridiculous reason. If you are the person that watches drug commercials on TV and after hearing the some of the effects of a sickness you automatically assume you have it you may want to be wary of the internet. I am a normal idiot and I have a blog so anyone can write anything. It does not always make it true, unless of course it is me. Before you immerse yourself in the internet it may not be a bad idea to visit your doctor first. The couple should visit the doctor when possible and not just the individual. Infertility is not a final judgment. Nearly everything is possible. Keep your faith and love each other. Sometimes that is enough once you visit a proper doctor and follow-up on their advice. I love you all and wish you the best.
Sunshine Dreams and Hopes 