Sometimes to get the things you really want in life you have to fight like crazy for it. When the things that seem to come easy for others are an all out battle for you then need to have a plan. Infertility is not invincible but you need to be ready.
When you accept the news that you need medical help to become pregnant it can be a hard pill to swallow and for that very reason one of the first things you need to TRY to do is make sure your head is clear and you are moving forward with your efforts concisely and openly. To say the emotion of trying to have a child with a doctors help is stressful would be a huge understatement and feelings will run crazy from time to time. If you start an IVF cycle there will be shots, appointments, shots, appointments, information, oh yeah did I mention shots and appointments? You need to understand yourself well enough to know that if you can not keep a clear focused mind during your cycle that your partner needs to be involved and be the other set of ears. When you are in your appointments take a note pad and jot things down. The night before your appointments jot down any questions you may have. There may be cases in your cycle where you are treated by more than one doctor, nurse, or even pharmacist and not every professional gives you the same information in the same way so keeping track of things on paper this will help will allow your emotions to flow while keeping you on pace with the fertility treatments.
There is a common saying that says, “Perception is reality”. The meaning of this saying equates to “what you truly believe is true will be your reality” and it makes no difference if the rest of the world sees it differently. It is hard to not have sad, scared, or mad days during a cycle but if you can resist as much as possible to feel the negative this writer believes it can make a difference. After our child was born to IVF my wife often said that she felt cheated of the enjoyment of being pregnant because of all the fears she faced on a daily basis in her eight months of bed rest. I fully understand that complaining about a successful IVF can sound offensive to the millions of couples still trying to conceive but the reason I mention it is like it or not if your cycle results in a child this cycle will be your pregnancy and your memory so do all you can to stay calm and happy. If possible find humor on the inane. If you keep telling yourself it is not going to work you may find it will not. I believe that my wife’s iron will and positive attitude made a big difference in our story.
Another key to a perfect ending is organization. You will have many things to keep straight during your cycle. Shots need to be done in regular intervals. Missing a shot can destroy a cycle. Do what ever works that helps you keep your meds straight. You can write out things on a calendar or program reminders in your cell phone. You are not only keeping track of intervals of shots but their dosages and sometimes needle gauges. Doctor appointments will pile up and if possible you should schedule appointments at times that give you a cushion to get to work on time. If you have to be at work at two and think you can squeeze in a 1PM appointment it could cause undo stress. If you make plans that occur during shot times make sure that you think ahead. We went to a rock concert and had to call ahead to the venue to make sure we could get our meds and needles in. The venue worked with us but had they not we would have missed the concert. Having anal organizational tendencies can be a plus in the infertility cycle world.
Try to have a sense of humor. On the surface, the activities you do during a cycle can sound crazy. It is hard but if you can laugh at yourself because it can help. The doctors drew targets on my wife’s butt to give me guidance where to plunge the needle. I would make sound effects to distract my wife when giving her shots. My mother in law would tell me she was going to give her daughter and I time to “make baby”. When I was at the doctor and had to “produce a sample” I noticed there was a CD player in the room. I had to see what kind of music the doctor would give a man to inspire him to “produce” and it was “Eye of The Tiger”…really? yes really. Don’t forget I said you will have a will gambit of emotions so you may as well make humor one of them if possible. Infertility is the epitome of laughing so you don’t cry.
Are you one of those people who hears about some random disease on TV with a really random yet common symptom and you swear you are afflicted because you have the “butt itches on Thursday” symptom? If you are that type of person be careful what information you consume. Every man and woman has infertility in their own way and if you are susceptible to paranoia you may not want to read every random blog or article on infertility. It could scare you to death and stress you out. If you are this type of person you may want to have a really small circle where you draw your information. I would consider keeping it to just your doctor and maybe a friend or two. This is only my opinion but there is a great bit of bad or misinformation out there.
Be open!!! If you have a spouse you are sharing this time with make sure they know what you are thinking. Some of us men are emotionally numb and don’t always ask what you are thinking. Sometimes the man is carrying emotion he should be sharing with you. When the sun sets on the day it is you and your spouse against the world so to not be open with each other about this process is crazy. If you are not the paranoid type then read blogs of couples going through the process our blogs like mine where people made it through the process. Hearing others stories can have a calming effect on some people. knowing you are not alone makes a difference.
You can make it through the infertility challenge and you could be a parent. Do not give in but have a plan and be flexible with your plan. My family loves you and wishes you the best.