Infertility: The Battle Cry Of Recruitment


I have a sales pitch you will not be able to refuse. When I make this pitch some of you are going to say this man is reading my mind. Welcome to my interview as I am going to try to recruit you into one of the most mystifying tasks you will ever take. Here we go. Brace yourself. I can feel you shaking with excitement. Join me on an adventure. It will be a personal war of sorts. You may hate yourself while doing it. You will almost certainly hate others as they win without even taking on one single skirmish much less a full-scale emotional war.  Your allies will question you, embarrass you, insult you, and at times judge you. You may, at times, hate some of your allies. You will probably have a partner during this trek. He may not understand the scale of the task or understand the depth of your committment to the task. You may hate him too sometimes. He may hate you too at times. Some of you will even hate the family pet if they succeed in their similar task. You will be prodded by people, analyzed by people, some of them will only be guessing while others will be completely wrong. These people will offer you a plan to get to the finish line. Their plan may involve shots, blood loss, taking away from other things you want to do, loss of funds, loans for things you may never own so to speak, surgery, and questions lots of questions and the answers may vary depending on who you talk to. This job will affect your sex life. People will tell you how to have sex, you are doing it wrong, they may tell you when to have sex, some may offer to step in for your normal partner thinking they are funny, sex may become clinical, masturbation will be discussed, you will be told how to masturbate, everyone will know exactly when you masturbate, when sex is done you may have post coitus exercises, and all the long others will think you’re having the time of your life with all this “BONUS” sex. Life’s may be loss while you move forward. You will feel responsible and guilty for these losses. Many will claim to understand but a very small number of people truly will. God will be against your task or at least some will tell you this, when lives are lost people will tell you “it’s God’s will” and that may infuriate you, some Christians will say you are trying to play God and that alone will damn you, everyone will claim to pray for you but most will not, you will question God, but you will also draw on His support and direction. You may have this battle for years and have nothing but loss, scars, and heartache to show for it. Are you in? Do you want to take the challenge of battling infertility head on? I think your answer is yes. You are amazing for wanting to do so.

     When you want to have a child bad enough you will get through these things. You will find ways to cope. You will find yourself stronger than you ever considered possible. You will become closer and communicate more with your partner. You will get mad at those that understand but with support groups, family, friends, faith, and maybe even a sense of humor you will get through it. Infertility is a fother mucker but it can be beat. Sometimes infertility blinks and you can knock it out. If congress had the resolve that people have trying to have a baby while dealing with  infertility then we would be the most efficient government ever. Men and especially women that take this challenge are some of the most dedicated, sweetest, selfless, and giving people you will ever know. They will risk it all to be a daddy or a mommy. When they become parents most of them will never take their blessing for granted. They will go that extra inch to be the best parent they can. I am not saying infertility battled parents are better but they may see things in a much different light. If you are going down the path now or plan to go down the path in 2013 I wish you the best. My wife and I got lucky and we are both willing to lend support. Contact us through this blog. We will give you are Facebook pages. We will support you emotionally if you need us. My wife is a pharmacist and can answer drug questions. There are dozens of  support sites like Attain Fertility, Resolve, and many others. Arm yourself with support, knowledge, and never let someone tell you it cannot be done. Infertility can be beaten and I hope you are one of those that does it.


9 responses »

  1. I appreciate and support everything you’ve said here. However, there is one additional element that must be mentioned – the cost of fertility treatments. There are a multitude of couples who reach the “end of the line” and simply do not have the funds to continue….sad as that may be. As a parent who witnessed her daughter undergo years of unsuccessful treatment and finally have a child via a surrogate, I know the pain of infertility. This caused me to form Baby Quest, our family’s non-profit foundation which gives grants to those who cannot afford the high costs of egg donation, ivf, iui, and /or surrogacy.Pamela Hirsch, Baby Quest Foundation

  2. Reblogged this on Las and Col go Texan! and commented:
    I discovered this blog today, it’s a fertility blog, from a male perspective – it’s a rarity, but it’s refreshing and insightful. I’ve been laughing and nodding with him all evening, but this blog brought me to tears.
    I’ve asked him to write a piece for the ‘fertility friends’ segment I’ve been working on, and I know I’ll definitely be reading more of his blog posts over the coming days and weeks (and probably re-read over the coming months of our journey!)
    “Many will claim to understand but a very small number of people truly will”
    It’s so very true, I’ve said it before (and ranted about it) and chances are, I’ll rant about it again. Please check out his blog – I hope that some of you can draw strength from it like I have been doing today!

    • I could not be more humbled than reading such kind words. I am more than happy to write something for your segment, in fact its an honor. Let me know what you are looking for and I will be happy to do it. Thank you!!!

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