Infertility: Needles


Needles Street Sign

Are you afraid of needles? Are you going through infertility treatments requiring shots? Fun huh? My wife has a huge phobia of needles. She can get sweaty palms just thinking of her skin being penetrated by the sharp edge of death. When we began our treatments she let me know that I would be giving her shots. She did not ask me if I would give her shots she told me I was doing it. I fully understand my lot in life and accepted her direction. The Jones Institute had me come in to learn how to give shots. My training was nearly a blistering two full minutes. I think heart surgery is at least ten minutes. The nurse gave me a small ball to practice on. I am not certain but I am pretty confident that the nurse had at least an hour tele-course on giving shots. They just foolishly looked at me and thought I could be trusted with sharps and said poke away. At least they drew a target on my wife’s butt. Yes a target. When I learned about the birds and the bees they never covered the part where you would have targets tattooed to your partners backside for you to throw darts at. That is foreplay I can do without.

I can remember the first time I gave my wife her shot. I must have taken a dozen practice strokes before plunging the drug into her body. The feeling of puncturing her skin was very unnatural and took a while to get use to. Once I got use to giving the shots I tried to make it fun. The only problem in making it fun was that I was the only person the appreciated my efforts to lighten the moment. I would make rocket sounds as I plunged the needle. My wife could not appreciate my juvenile behavior.  There were times when her back side was so bruised that I could not find a spot to place the shot. It was times like that when I wished the target had not washed away.
Shots in the bum are only training for the real fun. The shots that tested the most were the ones just below the navel. Shots in the belly were more personal. I felt more like I was stabbing my wife than giving her a shot. Maybe it was because I would tell her, “Time for your nightly stabbing”?. One night we went out to a comedy club and I had a couple of beers. After I was beginning to feel a little loose one of our friends reminded us I had to give her a shot that night. I have never tried so hard to clear my head as I did that night. When we got home that night I prayed I would not see two belly buttons when I gave her the shot.
The journey is full of battles. You will face financial, emotional, confidence, and dozens of other battles but the strong couples find a way to get through. My wife had to overcome a fear of needles and trust me with the task of giving the shots. We made it through with trust and love. You can get through this too. I wish you all the best and look out for those needles.

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