Infertility: If Only To Respond In Kind!!!

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funny signs

Have you ever had someone say something to you that was rude and angered you and after they walked away you thought of the best response to the barrage of crap verbiage they threw in your face? Maybe you took the high road and elected and simply smile and say nothing but what if you could rewind time? Would it not be great to respond to the inconsiderate nitwits that make senseless and hurtful comments in regards to your struggle with infertility? This is all tongue in cheek. The things people mindlessly say to couples fighting infertility are painful and I take it very serious and most of these things  to my wife or me. I hope no one is offended and apologize in advance if I do offend anyone.

How many times has someone told you and your spouse that even though you have not had a child yet you are at least having a bunch of fun “practicing”. By this they are implying that your life is some sort of soft core porn movie where as soon as Daddy hits the door the struggling couple are breaking out “toys” and going at each other like a gaggle of competitive eaters at Nathans July Fourth Hot Dog eating contest. Wouldn’t it be nice to just once give them some unneeded if not untrue details to the “fun” you are having? I would have loved to have told them that the dancers from the movie “Magic Mike” come over every night to personally get my wife fired up and ready. It would have been great just to say once to these uneducated to the infertility buffoons that work gives me extra time off to get it on. There are other stupid sex responses too. Has anyone told your man, “If you need any help just let me know”. Is it ever proper to offer to have sex with a friend’s wife or girlfriend? I would liked to have said to those people who it would be great if they would “tag in” but first I get to do mattress dance with their mom, sister, grandmother, and family dog on a prime time special hosted by Ann Curry. Another stupid thing people say is that maybe you are doing it wrong or you should try this  or that position. Really dimwit? I would love to say just once that I tried all the moves their girlfriend demonstrated for me but they just would not work. Could you please send her back over to show me a few more? I could also use Fifty Shades of your sister.

dumbass

On a much darker side how many times have you been told that is was “Gods Will”. Your infertility is “Gods Will”, your losses are “Gods Will”, or your long battle with infertility is “Gods Will”. I hate this one the most. These biscuit bags really think that we are God’s personal reality TV show. God hangs out in the clouds and purposely changes our realities to entertain Him and his plot lines. God is so powerful that He can create Alex Trebek from a tulip but from time to time He just likes to screw with us. Really? Maybe it was “Gods Will” that the dum dums that say these things to infertility couples are rude, crude, and socially unattractive. You’re right God has it in for me and it’s also His will that you are ugly and blessed with the breath of a horses ass. People use “God’s Will” when they don’t know what to say but lets not involve Him in this because quite frankly I bet He is a little too busy to be the instigator of anyones problems.

 

scooby, funny

The cavalcade of inconsiderate people continues with the guy that says, “You can always adopt!”. They make this comment as if it is the most obvious solution. There is nothing wrong with adoption but when a family wants to birth a child adoption may not be an option they chose. I would ask this person why didn’t they buy a Lexus instead of the ten-year old beater they bought. There really are not many comparable comebacks to this type of remark. It clearly illustrates how out of touch people can be to the infertile couples plight.

The truth is that most people do not realize that the most innocent statement can cut so deep. Most people do not understand and simply would be better off just listening as opposed to saying something cruel, thoughtless, and stupid. In a perfect world we can zing them right back but alas we are better than that. I hope you have a great Independence Day and I wish you the best in your journey. I love you all.

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