Infertility: Drugs, Rock and Roll, and Making Babies

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Rock and Roll and baby making are a natural match. If a rock singer is not singing about drinking and smoking he is singing about making love to fat bottomed girls making his rocking world go round. But what if the rock and roll fans are in the thirties, they don’t drink, and they use needles and drugs alright but the drugs are fertility in nature?  In 2007 that was my wife and I.

We were in the middle of an IVF cycle. While ramping up for egg retrieval and implants I was giving my wife the usual battery of fertility injections. I was more protective than the usual husband of my wife during the fertility cycle but I knew she needed a break from the monotony of doctors appointments and self-doubt. A good old-fashioned Poison hair rock concert was the ticket literally. My wife loves hair rock and Poison is her favorite. We scored great seats front row center and were ready to take a three-hour vacation from our fertility torture.

As luck would have it we would have to do a scheduled injection at 9 PM. I have been to hundreds of concerts and worked hundreds more as venue security over the years so I knew that there was a strong chance that Poison, as the headliner, would hit the stage nearly at the exact time of the injection. I called the venue a few days before the show and explained I needed to bring in refrigerated medications and needles into the venue. They explained that they would keep the meds back stage for us and we could go to a certain gate to get access to them when we needed them.

On the way to the concert we saw Cee Cee Deville, Poisons guitarist jogging only a mile or so from the venue. We pulled to the side of the road and asked for a quick picture. He rudely said no. In retrospect I rudely stopped him from his personal break from a grueling tour. I did not see it that way at the moment and like an asshole I called him an asshole. As we pulled away I suddenly realized that we were front row center and if he saw and recognized me he could make my life miserable. Did I possibly ruin my wifes escape for a photo-op and pride?

The first couple acts were awesome, even if it is was hair rock (smile)!!! If you have ever had front row seats at a concert you know that sometimes people still rush the stage and you can end out standing behind several people trying to see the show. Poison was no exception to this rule but we secured our spot on the barricade, with unobstructed  view, but Poison was moments from getting to the stage and we were also moments from needle and fertility time. I explained to my wife that when we gave up our spots on the front row barricade we would probably not get them back. She said no one will screw with a women on fertility meds. I said I guess we will see.

I always wanted to have that backstage taking drugs at a rock show story but it didn’t read like this in my fantasy. We made it backstage to a medical room were we were given privacy to give to unclothe my wife enough for her shot. That is another rock and roll fantasy, undressing a beautiful women backstage. I got the undressing part and the beautiful women part but a damn needle would break up the moment.  I kept telling my wife that I hoped the concert would not start as I was plunging the needle because I did not want to be startled while plunging the needle but as fate would have it nearly at the exact time I plunged the needle a loud explosion went off and I thankfully did not stab my wife with the needle.

We made it back to the stage and as expected there were two young women in the spot we had occupied only a few short minutes ago. Before I had a chance to stop my wife she walked straight up to these poor unsuspecting girls, tapped them on the shoulder and told them they were in her spot. My wife must have had her angry fertility drug filled eyes on because the girls parted from the barricade like the red sea. The girls looked at me passively to let me in and I nervously looked around for their boyfriends who were not there. I told the girls to stay in front of me. I did not have the heart to take their spot.  My wife, the two girls, and I all ended out on the front of the barricade and we actually laughed and talked with them during the show. You may want to know about Cee Cee Deville?  He played in front of us several times only feet and away and I snapped pictures like crazy and he either did not see me or decided to let me off the hook. The show was fantastic and a great diversion.

I learned to not mess with a determined, fertility drug filled woman. I also learned Rock and Roll can sooth the soul even if it is Poison. I hope this was a good diversion for you. It is a true story from my families journey to an eventually successful child-birth. I wish you all the best of luck and keep up your fight and your spirits and long live rock and roll.

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One response »

  1. A happy story is always a good diversion… Thanks! My husband and I will be starting the ivf process next month…and he would love to see an 80’s hair band, fertility diversion or not! Maybe we’ll have to look and see who will be playing near us around that time:)

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