I was at work one afternoon during the time period Shan and I were going through IVF when I ran into a friend I had known for over twenty years. He asked me how the IVF was working out. I told him we had a chemical pregnancy the last time but we were still hopeful for success. He asked me a question that only two men could propose to one another and not be hurt or angered by. He asked me if I ever considered that God did not want us to be parents. I was taken back by the question and had it been asked by a stranger I would have lost my mind but I knew this man was only being honest and it took nerve to ask it. He is a God fearing man but God does not make a good parent. To me God is the shepherd who leads us to water and gives us the option to drink. You can be the best parent known to man and your child may still hate you as was the case with my friend in this scenario. I guess his kid told God he wasn’t sipping any water. Let me now return to the question he asked me that started this session of therapy.
I told him that I felt God would not have given us doctors that specialized in reproductive medicine if She did not want us to have children and then I proposed a question of my own. I asked him if he thought that maybe God wanted people going through fertility treatments to prove themselves a little more because She had an extra special child in store for them. He was impressed with this turn of the tables and offered no response but instead a smile and a hug and two words, “Good Luck!!!”
It does not matter what anyone thinks when you are trying to have children in the scientific method instead of the biblical one. The truth of the matter is that it is your life and it says a lot about the strength of ones character to subject themself to having your confidence continually shaken. If you are in this battle know that you are going to be an amazing parent when your luck turns and if it doesn’t turn you are no less amazing. I love you all and good luck.