God made the decision a long time ago that I am not worthy to be a mother. Society is aware how God feels about me because when I tell them I have fertility issues or that I lost a pregnancy they are quick to tell me, “It’s God’s plan!?!” My wife questioned everything about herself when we walked through the firestorm of fertility issues. Today instead of telling you what happened to us or what to expect as you make your journey I want you to consider this self-affirmation. I want you to remind yourself why you are already an amazing person.
If you watch the news or watch people you work with you may notice that people are sometimes very self-absorbed. Everyday I see people who care about themself and not what they can give the world. It sometimes seems rare to meet someone who wants to reach out to you or someone else and make them smile. 9-11 is a great example. How many people realize that the tenth anniversary is this year and give a thought to the fact that we are in a war as a result of that event today. Yes they know we are at war but rarely do they give it any real thought but they damn sure make it public knowledge that they have the expensive car or are somehow better than you. This is an extreme example but I make it for a reason. People that take the fertility journey do so out of love. They want to give back to the world by having a child that could stop the next major world disaster. Women, in particular, often want a child because they want to give back. Women have so much love to give that they feel an internal need to share it. Some women not only want to have a child so they can pay it forward they want to give their husbands the opportunity to give a child love and guidance as well. Trust me, on average, the inability to have a child weighs a ton more on a woman than a man. The last sentence seems obvious because women are the vessel to life but the truth is that most men do not give infertility all that much thought. We (men) overall are built differently. This does not make men callous (there are exceptions) it just means it does not hit us as hard because we are not that vessel. There is still real pain there for men as well. I want you to take one thing from this blog. You are an incredible person for having the willingness to take the journey in the first place. You may be judged for your choice. You will have doubt. You will struggle but know that the best things are worth the fight and no one has the right to judge and those that do are likely the self-absorbed and not confident. Do you feel you have no confidence? Vanquish that thought because by taking the challenge presented by infertility you are more confident than you know. Good luck and you have my love and best wishes.